Implements
Implements in detail
The overview lives on implements and what each one does. These are the long versions, one object at a time, written because the questions people actually ask are specific ones. How hard should a slipper go. Why does a hairbrush hurt like that. Is a belt really such a bad idea.
In short
- Two variables explain nearly everything: how much area the force lands on, and how much warning you get before it becomes an injury.
- Material matters far less than people think. A thin flexible thing and a thick rigid thing of the same weight behave completely differently.
- The hand and a mid-weight strap will cover your first year properly. Almost every regret I have heard about involved buying a cane in week two.
- Every page here assumes you have read where it is safe to strike first. Nothing on this list changes the anatomy.
Everything on this site is about consenting adults over 18.
The first variable: how much area the force lands on
Swing two objects with the same arm at the same speed and the energy arriving is roughly the same. What differs is the surface it arrives through. Spread it across a palm and it becomes heat, pressure and a broad flat ache. Push the same energy through a rattan line six millimetres wide and it becomes a crushing force at the skin, which is why the cane splits people and the slipper does not.
That is also the honest explanation of sting and thud, which get discussed as though they were mystical properties of leather versus wood. Small contact area gives you surface sting. Broad and heavy pushes force deeper into the muscle and gives you thud, which hurts less at the time and more on Tuesday.
A heavy paddle is nearly all thud, a ruler is nearly all sting, and a strap sits in the middle, which is why it is the most useful thing most people own.
The second variable: how much warning you get
This is the one that matters for safety, and hardly anybody talks about it. Every implement has a distance between the point where it clearly hurts and the point where it has caused damage nobody agreed to. On a hand that distance is effectively infinite: you would exhaust your own wrist long before you did anything serious. On a plimsoll it is very wide. On a strap it is wide, and it announces itself with sound and heat.
On a cane it is almost nothing. Skin goes from red to red to split with no intermediate stage that tells you to stop, and the person receiving it cannot warn you either, because the second wave of pain arrives after the stroke has already landed.
Crops, rulers and other thin things share a milder version of the same problem. When I call something unforgiving on these pages, this is what I mean. Not that it hurts more, but that it gives you less notice.
With any implement you have not used before, spend the first dozen strokes finding out where it lands rather than how hard it can go. Light, deliberate, watching the skin rather than the face. It is boring and it prevents nearly every accident I have seen.
All of them side by side
| Implement | Sting or thud | Forgiveness | How it marks | For a beginner? |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Hand | Both, spreading heat | Highest there is | Redness, occasional finger outlines | Start here |
| Slipper | Broad thud with a slap on top | Very high | Even redness, light bruising | Yes, the next step |
| Flogger | Thud, almost no bite | High at low force | Little, unless heavy leather | Yes, with limits |
| Strap | Slap over a thud | High | Wide red bands, bruising at the edges | Yes, after the slipper |
| Tawse | Heavy slap, double crack | High for its weight | Broad bruising, twin tail pattern | Not first |
| Paddle | Broad push into muscle | Moderate | Deep bruising that arrives on day two | Later |
| Hairbrush | Hard concentrated smack | Lower than it looks | Fast oval bruising | Only carefully |
| Wooden spoon | Small sharp snap | Low | Round bruises, quickly | Only carefully |
| Belt | Slap, but erratic | Low, mostly through user error | Wide stripes, wrap marks on the hip | No |
| Ruler | Thin fast sting | Low | Thin red bands, welts from the edge | No |
| Crop | Sharp bite in a small square | Low | Small square welts | No |
| Cane | A line, then a delayed second wave | Lowest in common use | Tramlines lasting up to two weeks | No |
| Birch | Scattered surface sting, no second wave | Low, and impossible to aim | Scratches and pinpoint bleeding | No |
Forgiveness in that table is not the same as gentleness. A tawse hits considerably harder than a hairbrush and is far safer, because its weight arrives through a large flexible surface. A crop is lighter than almost everything else here and I would not hand one to a beginner. Weight and danger are separate questions and people conflate them constantly.
The register
Things already in the house
The hand
The safest implement there is, and the only one with a governor built into the circuit. It hurts you too.
The slipper
The British domestic classic. A plimsoll is broad, forgiving and the gentlest serious implement in existence.
The hairbrush
Small dense face, stings out of all proportion to its size, and the rim is where the trouble is.
The wooden spoon
Kitchen improvisation with a snap to it. The handle breaking mid-stroke is a genuine risk, not a joke.
The belt
The most commonly improvised and one of the hardest to use well. The buckle rule, and why the loose end wanders.
The ruler
The plain office ruler. Thin, snappy, and all about the edges. A short page with a clear warning in it.
Improvised implements
What around the house works, what is merely uncomfortable, and the specific things people reach for that they should not.
Things never to use as an implement
Cable, wire hangers, metal, buckles and anything with an edge or a splinter: what never gets swung, and why.
Things made for the job
The strap
Flexible leather that follows the body. Loud, forgiving, and the object I would buy if I could only buy one.
The tawse
A Scottish leather strap with two tails and real weight, heavier in the hand than it looks in a photograph.
The paddle
Broad and thuddy, with corners as the hazard and bruising that does not show up until you have stopped.
The cane
Rattan, a line of force, and a second wave of pain that arrives seconds late. The least forgiving thing in common use.
Cane types and grades
Light, medium, dragon, kooboo and whangee. What the names actually mean, which is less than people assume, and why you buy by diameter rather than label.
The riding crop
A small leather keeper on a stiff shaft. Precise, sharp, and very easy to misjudge by a couple of inches.
The birch
A bundle of green twigs with the heaviest history of anything here, and the worst practical behaviour. Made fresh, used once, binned.
The flogger
More BDSM than spanking. Falls thuddy despite looking fearsome, and behaves nothing like a strap.
Looking after them
Cleaning and caring for implements
Leather, rattan and wood absorb and cannot be disinfected, which is why they are personal. Cleaning by material, storage, and what to check before every use.
What I would actually acquire, in order
Nothing for the first few sessions. Then a plimsoll, because you probably own one or can get one for the price of a sandwich, and because it teaches rhythm and placement without the ability to do harm. Then one mid-weight leather strap, deliberately not a long one, which will do everything you need for a year or more.
After that it depends on what you have found you like: a paddle or a tawse for depth, a heavier strap for sound. A cane comes last, and only once you can put three strokes in a row exactly where you meant to.
Marks, law and the thing that ends conversations
Redness and light bruising are not usually legally interesting. Under R v Brown [1993] UKHL 19, consent is not a defence to causing actual bodily harm in England and Wales, and heavy or lasting bruising, or injuries that need treatment, can sit on the wrong side of that line.
This is not a theoretical worry to wave at people. It is a practical reason to prefer implements that mark broadly and shallowly over implements that concentrate force, and to stop early rather than late. See marks and bruising and is any of this legal in the UK.
Sources
- R v Brown [1993] UKHL 19, House of Lords. bailii.org
Where this page mentions the law, it is general information written from an England and Wales position unless it says otherwise, and it is not legal advice. Scotland and Northern Ireland have their own law. If your own legal position matters, speak to a solicitor.
Common questions
Which spanking implement should I buy first?
Nothing, for a while. The hand costs nothing and teaches you more than any purchase. When you do buy, a mid-weight leather strap of moderate length is the most useful single object, because it spreads its force, follows the shape of the body and is difficult to injure someone with. A cane should be years down the list, not weeks.
What is the difference between sting and thud?
Sting is surface sensation from a small or fast contact area, sharp and immediate and gone fairly quickly. Thud is force delivered deeper into the muscle by a broad or heavy object, duller at the time and much more likely to ache the following day. Most implements do some of both, and the ratio is mostly a function of how much area the force lands on.
Which implements are safest for beginners?
The hand first, then a plimsoll or soft slipper, then a mid-weight leather strap. All three spread their force over a wide area, give a long gradual build, and have a big gap between the point where it hurts and the point where it does damage. Canes, crops, rulers and belts all have narrow margins and belong later.