Play party

A step up from a munch and a step most people take much later than they expect. The surprise, for nearly everybody, is how ordinary and how chatty the room actually is.

Consenting adults only. Everything on this page is about adults over 18 who have freely agreed to it.

Written from first-hand experience or extensive research by the editor.

What it means

A play party is an organised private event, for adults over eighteen only, where play happens on the premises. There is usually equipment set out, a room or two for socialising, a bar or a kettle, a set of written house rules and at least one person whose job for the evening is to watch the room. That person is variously called a dungeon monitor, a DM, or a steward.

It is a different thing from a munch. A munch is a pub with no play. A party is a private space where play is the point, even though most of the evening is people talking.

In practice

The rules at any decent UK event are broadly the same. Nobody touches anybody without asking, and that includes touching equipment somebody is using. No phones, no cameras, and often phones go in a box at the door. Do not talk to people who are mid-scene, and do not stand close enough to be part of it. Watching from a reasonable distance is fine and expected. Alcohol is limited or absent, because playing drunk is the fastest way to hurt somebody.

What actually happens is far more social than the word party suggests. People arrive, change if they are going to, get a drink and talk for two hours. Some play, most watch some of it, and a good number leave without having done anything except have a nice evening.

Practical things for a first one. Go with somebody, or arrange to meet somebody you already know from a munch. Tell a friend outside the scene where you are. Ask the host what the dress expectation is, because it varies from black jeans to full effort and both are wrong in the other room. Work out your exit in advance, since these run late and the last train does not.

Where the confusion comes from

Going too early. A play party is not a good first contact with the scene, not because it is dangerous but because you have no way of knowing who anybody is. Munches first, several of them, until faces are familiar. The people I have seen have a bad time at a party are almost always the ones who arrived alone having met nobody beforehand.

The other misunderstanding is thinking that being there implies availability. It does not. Attendance is not consent to anything, no more than being in a pub is consent to being spoken to. Reputable events say this explicitly in their rules, and the ones that do not are telling you what kind of event they are.