Over the arm

Nobody puts this position in a photograph, because it looks like somebody reaching for the remote. It is also the one I recommend to almost everybody starting out.

Consenting adults only. Everything on this page is about adults over 18 who have freely agreed to it.

Written from first-hand experience or extensive research by the editor.

What it means

The receiver bends over the arm of a sofa or an armchair. The hips rest on the padded arm, which becomes the highest point, and the upper body lies forward across the seat cushions. The receiver kneels on the floor at the end of the sofa, or stands there if the furniture allows it. Head and arms are supported, so nothing is being held up by effort.

Why it works

It gets the geometry right almost by accident. The pelvis is supported and pushed up and out, so the target sits at a workable height for somebody standing. The lower back is not arched or strained. The skin is under moderate tension rather than stretched flat, and the sit spot is presented without the receiver being folded double.

The stability is the part that matters most. Nothing is balancing on anything. That means strokes land where they were aimed, which is the entire safety argument for using a strap or a cane at all. It also means the position can be held for a long time, and long sessions are where most of the good ones happen.

And the register is neutral. It does not carry the intimate weight of over the knee, nor the formality of a desk. It is simply an efficient way to have an evening, and that is useful when you want the sensation to be the subject rather than the frame.

In practice

Check the arm itself. A firm, padded, rounded sofa arm is ideal. A thin wooden arm with a cushion over it is not, since the hip bone finds the wood within five minutes. Add a folded towel or a pillow if the padding is thin.

Then stand where you can see. The one recurring failure with this position is the person swinging standing too close and too square, so the far edge of the target sits past the end of their reach. The tip then carries onto the hip, which is the commonest accidental injury in the whole activity. Step back, turn slightly, and make sure the far side is visible before anything starts.

Comfort still has a clock on it. The head is lower than the heart, though less dramatically than over a knee, so bring somebody up slowly and expect a wobble. Twenty to thirty minutes before a change of position is sensible even if nobody has complained.

The usual mistake

Ignoring it because it is unromantic. People imagine the scenes they have seen in pictures, which are almost all knees or desks, and end up choosing a position that limits what they can safely do. If you want a proper session with an implement, this is where it should happen, and you can always start over a knee and move.