# Almost every site about spanking is either pornography or trying to sell you something. > A UK reference on consensual adult spanking, caning and discipline. Why people want it, how to do it without getting hurt, and what the law actually says. - Canonical URL: https://consensualspanking.co.uk/ - Audience: consenting adults over 18 only. Everything on this site concerns consenting adults over 18. --- A UK reference ยท written from both sides # Almost every site about spanking is either pornography or trying to sell you something. This is neither. It is a reference on what adults do to each other on purpose: why they want it, how it is done without causing damage nobody agreed to, and how to work out whether the person offering knows what they are doing. You will not find salacious photographs here, and there are no videos. The few pictures are of implements on a plain background. That is deliberate rather than prudish: the site is for people who want information about spanking, not for anyone looking for titillation. I have been on both sides of this for a long time: mostly as the spanker, occasionally as the spankee. Nothing here is for sale and there's nobody for hire. ## What this is - Everything here is between consenting adults over 18. - Over 475 pages, written and checked by one person over years. - Non-commercial. Nothing to buy, no advertising, no affiliate links. - The UK legal position set out with the cases linked, not legal advice. - External sources referenced and linked so you can check them. New to spanking? [Start here](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/why/), with what it is and why people want it. If the size of the site is the problem, [seven short routes through it](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/start-here/) are set out depending on who you are. ## Why people want this The mechanics take ten minutes to explain. The reason anyone wants it takes considerably longer, and it is what most people are actually searching for. ### [Why do I like pain?](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/why/why-do-i-like-pain/) Context changes how pain is processed. The hormone research, and how this differs from self-harm. ### [What is masochism?](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/why/what-is-masochism/) Including the DSM-5 line between a preference and a disorder, which nobody tells you about. ### [Shame and arousal](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/why/shame-and-arousal/) Why the embarrassment is not a side effect to be tolerated. For many people it is the engine. ### [The need for humiliation](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/why/the-need-for-humiliation/) Chosen, bounded and reversible, which is what separates it from being demeaned. ### [Power exchange and surrender](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/why/power-exchange/) Why handing over control reads as relief, and why the bottom holds the actual power. ### [A test called me something. What does it mean?](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/why/kink-test-results/) Masochist, submissive, brat, switch. What the labels describe and what they do not. ## Doing it properly Unglamorous and not complicated. The people who skip it are the people it goes wrong for. ### [Does it have to be sexual?](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/guide/is-it-sexual/) No. That assumption is the main reason people never ask for what they want. ### [Where it is safe to strike](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/guide/where-it-is-safe-to-strike/) Anatomy with the reasoning. Which areas are fine, which need care, which cause lasting damage. ### [Warm-up](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/guide/warm-up/) The single biggest lever on how a session feels, and the thing beginners skip. ### [Implements](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/guide/implements/) Hand, hairbrush, paddle, strap, cane. What each does and how each fails. ### [Vetting a partner](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/guide/vetting-a-partner/) How to check someone out. Written so you can use it against me as readily as anyone. ### [Aftercare and drop](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/guide/aftercare/) The part everybody skips, then wonders why Tuesday felt strange. ## Scenes and scenarios A scenario supplies a reason, and a reason is what makes this askable. Stagecraft guides to specific scenes, all of them between adults. ### [The reckoning](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/scenes/the-reckoning/) A scene built on something that genuinely happened. The most loaded kind, and the riskiest. ### [No scenario at all](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/scenes/no-scenario/) Two adults and a sofa. Harder than it sounds, and where most people end up. ### [90 spanking scene ideas](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/scenes/ideas/) Nine sets of ten, with opening lines for both people and what to pick up. ## Structure and accountability For people who want rules that exist, someone who notices when they are broken, and a consequence that actually arrives. Written secularly, which almost nothing else on this subject is. ### [Why structure appeals](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/discipline/why-structure-appeals/) Usually strongest in the people carrying the most responsibility elsewhere. ### [Rules and agreements](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/discipline/rules-and-agreements/) Few, specific, checkable, with a review date and an exit written in. ### [Consent and coercive control](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/discipline/consent-and-coercive-control/) Where a negotiated dynamic ends and a criminal offence begins. Read this one. ### [Is any of this legal?](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/uk/is-it-legal/) Consent is not a defence to actual bodily harm in England and Wales. Most people assume otherwise. ## What this site is not There is nothing to buy and no price list. I do not charge and have no plans to. If you want a professional, there are people who do this properly and should be paid properly for it. I would also rather be flat about who it is for: everything here concerns consenting adults over 18 doing things to other adults who asked.