# A–Z of spanking and discipline terms > A UK glossary of spanking, discipline and consent vocabulary. Plain definitions of the words used in British ads and forums, written by an adult who uses them. - Canonical URL: https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/ - Audience: consenting adults over 18 only. Everything on this site concerns consenting adults over 18. The words people actually use in British ads, forums, negotiations and kitchens, defined plainly. Not the American version, not the fetish-market version, and not padded out with terms nobody says out loud. --- A–Z Most people arrive at this subject with the experience before the vocabulary. You have noticed something about yourself, or someone has used a phrase in a message and you have nodded rather than admit you did not know it, and there is no obvious place to look it up that is neither pornography nor a lecture. This is that place. Everything here concerns consenting adults over 18. Two warnings about scene vocabulary generally. First, almost none of it is standardised. There is no governing body, no dictionary anybody defers to, and two people can use the same word for meaningfully different things. Where I give a definition I am describing common British usage as I have encountered it, and the right move in any real conversation is still to ask what the other person means. Second, be sceptical of anyone who tells you that a term carries obligations, that a title must be earned from someone else, or that there are rules you are breaking. That is a sales pitch, not a tradition. Entries are short on purpose. Where a term has a full page elsewhere on the site, the glossary gives you the short answer and points you at it. If you want the practical material instead, start with [safety and practice](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/guide/), or with [the questions people actually ask](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/questions/). ## A ### [Aftercare](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/aftercare/) The deliberate wind-down after a scene, and the message two days later. ### [Arousal](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/arousal/) Why the word means two things at once, and why a body response is never consent. ### [Attitude adjustment](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/attitude-adjustment/) A spanking for a state rather than an act, and the reason it is the most easily abused idea here. ## B ### [Bare bottom](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/bare-bottom/) On the skin. Why the baring does more work than the difference in sting. ### [Birching](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/birching/) A bundle of green twigs rather than a single rod, and the judicial history that goes with the word. ### [Bottom](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/bottom/) The person receiving. How it differs from submissive and from masochist. ### [Brat](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/brat/) Someone who plays by resisting, and why the style needs a clean safe word. ### [Brat taming](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/brat-taming/) The answering half: overpowering the provocation inside agreed limits. ### [Bruising](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/bruising/) The colour timeline, and which bruises mean the aim was wrong. ## C ### [Cane](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/cane/) Rattan, 60–90 cm, and why a thin one is not the gentle option. ### [Caning](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/caning/) The delayed second wave of pain, and why rushing causes every problem. ### [Chastisement](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/chastisement/) The archaic register, and what the old vocabulary is actually for. ### [Check-in](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/check-in/) Four seconds, asked by the top. The measure that prevents most quiet damage. ### [Clamps](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/clamps/) Defined rather than covered. The pain arrives on removal when blood returns, which is the part that catches people out. ### [Cold](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/cold/) Without a warm-up. The word describes the absence of preparation and not the temperature of the room, which misleads people often enough to matter. ### [Collar](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/collar/) A worn symbol of commitment, with no universal meaning and no rules. ### [Consensual non-consent](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/consensual-non-consent/) CNC: protest inside the fiction, with a signal that sits outside it. ### [Consent](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/consent/) A running condition rather than a signature, and what UK law says about it. ### [Consent withdrawal](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/consent-withdrawal/) Taking it back, at any point, without a reason and without a cost. ### [Contract](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/contract/) Worth writing, binds nobody. The value is the argument you have drafting it. ### [Cool-down](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/cool-down/) The taper at the end of a scene, before aftercare starts. ### [Corner time](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/corner-time/) Standing facing a wall. Far harder than it sounds, and usually run too long. ### [Corporal punishment](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/corporal-punishment/) Consensual physical discipline between adults, inside an agreed frame. ### [Counting](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/counting/) What saying the number aloud does, and the trap of restarting the count. ### [CP](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/cp/) The British abbreviation, and what it signals that spanking does not. ### [Crop](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/crop/) A precision implement, not a gentle one. Never use the shaft as a cane. ### [Cross over the knee](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/cross-over-the-knee/) XOTK: legs pinned, hips raised, and a much bigger change than it looks. ### [Cuffs](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/cuffs/) Wrist and ankle restraints, the two-finger rule, and nerve compression. ## D ### [Discipline](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/discipline/) Structure with consequences attached, as distinct from sensation play. ### [Discipline dynamic](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/discipline-dynamic/) The ongoing arrangement rather than the individual session. ### [Domestic discipline](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/domestic-discipline/) Rules and consequences inside a household, and where it goes wrong. ### [Dominance and submission](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/dominance-and-submission/) D/s: the authority half of this, which need not involve any pain at all. ### [Drop](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/drop/) The delayed comedown after a scene, on either side of it. ### [Dungeon monitor](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/dungeon-monitor/) The person watching the room at a play party, and what they can be asked. ## E ### [Edge play](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/edge-play/) Activity at the riskier end, and why the label is used loosely. ### [Endorphins](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/endorphins/) The chemistry people credit for the high, and what it does not explain. ### [Escalation](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/escalation/) How sessions creep harder over months, and how to notice before it matters. ### [Etiquette](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/etiquette/) What is expected at a munch or a party, mostly about not touching people. ## F ### [Fetish](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/fetish/) The clinical meaning, the everyday meaning, and the gap between them. ### [FetLife](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/fetlife/) The social network most of the UK scene organises on, and its limits. ### [Figging](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/figging/) Ginger root, and why the site does not cover it. A safe word only works where stopping is available. ### [Flogger](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/flogger/) Many falls, spread force, and why it is harder to aim than it looks. ### [Funishment](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/funishment/) A punishment frame with no real offence behind it. Playful by design. ## G ### [Gag rule](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/gag-rule/) An instruction not to speak, and why it needs a non-verbal signal. ### [Grounding](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/grounding/) Bringing someone back into the room when they have gone a long way out. ## H ### [Hairbrush](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/hairbrush/) The domestic classic. Heavier than people expect and it bruises. ### [Hand position](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/hand-position/) The formal posture for a strap to the palm, and why the supporting hand matters. ### [Hand spanking](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/hand-spanking/) The most forgiving implement there is, and the one that tells you most. ### [Hard limit](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/hard-limit/) The things that are off the table permanently, stated in advance. ### [Hard stop](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/hard-stop/) Ending everything at once, and what should happen in the minute after. ### [Headspace](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/headspace/) The altered state, why words stop working, and what it means for consent. ### [HoH, head of household](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/hoh/) The person holding the agreed authority in a domestic discipline arrangement, and what the term does and does not imply. ### [House rules](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/house-rules/) Standing rules in a domestic arrangement, and how many is too many. ### [Humiliation](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/humiliation/) Why the shaming part is the point for some people, and how to keep it safe. ## I ### [Impact play](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/impact-play/) The umbrella term for anything struck, whatever the implement. ### [Imposition](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/imposition/) A non-physical consequence: lines, corner time, an essay. ### [Informed consent](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/informed-consent/) Agreement given by someone who actually knows what is being proposed. ### [Inspection](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/inspection/) A formal check against a written standard, with marks given. Bodies are never on the list. ## K ### [Kink](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/kink/) The broadest word in the vocabulary, and the least precise. ### [Kink orientation](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/kink-orientation/) Who you want to do this with is a separate axis from who you are attracted to, and they often differ. ## L ### [Limit](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/limit/) Hard and soft, how to state one, and why they narrow but never widen. ### [Lines](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/lines/) Writing the same sentence repeatedly. Dull on purpose, and effective. ## M ### [Maintenance](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/maintenance/) Scheduled discipline with no offence attached, and what it is for. ### [Marks](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/marks/) What lasts, what shows, and how to avoid being caught out at the gym. ### [Masking](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/masking/) Performing fine. Why somebody who has done it for years will look all right while in trouble. ### [Masochism](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/masochism/) The preference, the clinical term, and the distinction the DSM draws. ### [Mercy stroke](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/mercy-stroke/) A lighter last stroke to end a set, and why it divides opinion. ### [Mixed signals](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/mixed-signals/) When the words and the body disagree, and which one you should believe. ### [Motivational spanking](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/motivational-spanking/) Promised in advance against a deadline. It creates salience rather than ability. ### [Munch](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/munch/) People having a drink in a pub. The safest door into all of this. ## N ### [Negotiation](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/negotiation/) The conversation beforehand, and the questions that are worth asking. ### [No scenario](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/no-scenario/) Doing this without a story attached, which suits more people than admit it. ## O ### [On the spot](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/on-the-spot/) Dealing with something immediately rather than saving it for later. ### [OTK](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/otk/) Over the knee. The oldest position and the most emotionally loaded. ### [Over the arm](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/over-the-arm/) Over the arm of a sofa or chair. The most practical position in a flat. ## P ### [Paddle](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/paddle/) Broad, heavy and deceptively severe. The implement people underestimate. ### [Palm](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/palm/) Striking the hand rather than the seat, and why it carries real risk. ### [Pet name](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/pet-name/) Forms of address inside a dynamic, and how much work they do. ### [Play party](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/play-party/) An organised event with rules, monitors and rather less drama than expected. ### [Position](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/position/) Where the body goes, and why the choice is never only practical. ### [Power exchange](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/power-exchange/) Handing over authority by agreement, for an hour or indefinitely. ### [Presenting](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/presenting/) Putting yourself into a position and holding it, which is a different act from being placed in one. ### [Protocol](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/protocol/) Agreed forms of behaviour and address, from very light to very formal. ### [Punishment](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/punishment/) A consequence with a reason behind it, and the flat voice it requires. ### [Punishment book](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/punishment-book/) A written record she keeps and hands over. It lives with her and she can burn it at any moment. ## R ### [Rack](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/rack/) Risk aware consensual kink: the consent framework that admits the risk is real. ### [Red, amber, green](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/red-amber-green/) The traffic light system, and why amber is the one that earns its place. ### [Restraint](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/restraint/) Being held or tied so moving is not available. An intensity multiplier rather than a decoration. ### [Ritual](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/ritual/) The repeated forms around a scene, and why they do so much of the work. ### [Role](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/role/) What you do in a scene, as opposed to who you are the rest of the week. ### [Rules](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/rules/) Standing expectations in an arrangement, and how to keep the list short. ## S ### [Sadism](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/sadism/) Taking pleasure in giving pain, and the consent that makes it ordinary. ### [Safe word](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/safe-word/) The backstop, not the safety system, and why it must cost nothing to use. ### [Scene](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/scene/) Both a single episode of play and the community as a whole. ### [Session](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/session/) The whole meeting, start to finish, including the parts nobody films. ### [Slipper](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/slipper/) A soft-soled shoe, used flat. Broad, stingy and mostly harmless. ### [SSC](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/ssc/) Safe, sane and consensual: the old slogan and the arguments against it. ### [Strap](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/strap/) Thick leather, broad impact, and the most forgiving heavy implement. ### [Sub drop](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/sub-drop/) The delayed low afterwards, and why Tuesday is worse than Sunday. ### [Submissive](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/submissive/) Handing over authority, which is not the same as receiving sensation. ### [Subspace](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/subspace/) The floaty, wordless state, what causes it, and what it costs afterwards. ### [Switch](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/switch/) Someone who wants both roles, and why the two sides do not teach each other. ## T ### [Tawse](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/tawse/) The Scottish leather strap, its tails, and the real risk to the hands. ### [Top](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/top/) The person delivering. A job in a scene rather than a rank. ### [Top drop](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/top-drop/) The comedown nobody warns tops about, and almost nobody writes down. ### [Topping from the bottom](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/topping-from-the-bottom/) An accusation more often than a description. Worth taking apart. ### [TTWD](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/ttwd/) This thing we do. The polite shorthand for the whole subject. ## V ### [Vanilla](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/vanilla/) Everything outside this. A useful word that is often used unkindly. ## W ### [Warm-up](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/warm-up/) Why cold skin cannot take what warm skin can, and how long it really takes. ### [Welt](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/welt/) The raised line a cane leaves, how long it lasts, and when to stop. ### [Witness](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/witness/) A third person present to observe rather than take part, and what that changes. ### [Wooden spoon](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/glossary/wooden-spoon/) The kitchen implement with the worst reputation, largely deserved. > ## If any of this stops being consensual > > > > Vocabulary does not make something acceptable. If a partner is going past what you agreed, using rules to control your ordinary life, or refusing to accept that you want to stop, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is 0808 2000 247, free and 24 hours. The Men's Advice Line is 0808 8010 327. The Samaritans are on 116 123 at any hour. See also [get help](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/support/). ## Read next - [Safety and practice](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/guide/) - [Questions people actually ask](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/questions/) - [Negotiation](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/guide/negotiation/) - [Is it legal in the UK?](https://consensualspanking.co.uk/uk/is-it-legal/)